Gardening, not carpentry
#4Rather than trying to craft your child into a particular kind of success, create a rich, diverse, and safe environment for them to flourish in.
This principle builds directly on the foundational work of psychologist Alison Gopnik, who in her influential book The Gardener and the Carpenter contrasts two parenting approaches. A carpenter forces wood into a predetermined shape. A gardener creates the optimal environment for a plant to grow into the best version of itself. The Renaissance Child framework takes this powerful metaphor and provides the specific seeds, soil, and tending practices—our 13 Core Values and 17 Parenting Principles—needed to cultivate a resilient, compassionate human being.
Supporting Values
This principle helps cultivate these core values in your family:
Practical Examples
- • Provide diverse experiences and opportunities rather than forcing specific outcomes
- • Create a nurturing environment that allows natural growth and development
- • Focus on creating conditions for flourishing rather than controlling the end result
Related Activities
These family activities help put this principle into practice: