Never 'because I said so'
#16Explain the expectations and purpose of any demands you make.
Explain the expectations and purpose of any demands you make. This doesn’t mean negotiating every boundary — sometimes the explanation is brief and the expectation is firm. The point is that your child understands why, not just what.
Supporting Values
This principle helps cultivate these core values in your family:
Practical Examples
- • Your 5-year-old asks why they can't have candy before dinner. Instead of 'Because I said so,' try 'Because your body needs real food to have energy for playing. Candy after dinner is the deal.'
- • Your child doesn't want to wear a coat. Instead of forcing it, say 'It's 40 degrees out and you'll be outside for an hour. Your choice — but the coat comes with us in case you change your mind.'
- • Your 3-year-old is about to run toward the street. You grab them and say 'Stop.' In that moment, authority is immediate — the explanation ('Cars can't see you and they can't stop fast enough') comes right after, when they're safe and can listen. Speed first, reasoning second.
Related Activities
These family activities help put this principle into practice: