The 13 Core Values

These values form the foundation of a healthy family dynamic.

Without these values, the family is dysfunctional. Each value represents an essential principle for creating strong, connected relationships and nurturing resilient children.

Empathy

#1

The ability to understand and share the feelings of others. In a family, empathy is crucial to creating a supportive and caring environment.

Practical Examples:

  • • Actively listening to each other's perspectives
  • • Expressing concern for each other's well-being
  • • Showing understanding and compassion when someone is going through a difficult time

Equity

#2

Everyone is treated fairly and given equal opportunities to succeed. In a family, equity helps to foster a sense of fairness and justice.

Practical Examples:

  • • Everyone's opinions and ideas are taken into consideration
  • • Decisions are made based on what is best for the family as a whole
  • • Family members feel valued and respected, regardless of their differences

Immediate Feedback

#3

Providing feedback in a timely manner. In a family, immediate feedback helps to promote growth and learning.

Practical Examples:

  • • Expressing appreciation and gratitude for positive actions
  • • Addressing concerns and providing constructive criticism when necessary
  • • Helping family members understand how their actions affect others

Consistent Boundaries

#4

Essential for creating a safe and secure environment in which family members can grow and thrive.

Practical Examples:

  • • Establishing rules and expectations that are consistent and fair
  • • Enforcing boundaries consistently
  • • Providing clear understanding of what is acceptable behavior

Compersion

#5

The feeling of joy or happiness that comes from seeing others happy. In a family, compersion helps to promote a sense of community and connection.

Practical Examples:

  • • Expressing joy and happiness when someone else achieves something
  • • Celebrating each other's successes
  • • Sharing in each other's happiness

Shared Experience

#6

Participating in activities and events together as a family. Shared experience helps to build relationships and promote a sense of unity.

Practical Examples:

  • • Participating in activities that everyone enjoys
  • • Making time for family traditions and rituals
  • • Creating memories together

Unconditional Love

#7

Loving someone without any conditions or expectations. In a family, unconditional love is essential for building strong, supportive relationships.

Practical Examples:

  • • Expressing love and affection for each other on a regular basis
  • • Being there to support each other through thick and thin
  • • Feeling valued and respected, regardless of flaws or mistakes

Respect

#8

Treating others with dignity and consideration. In a family, respect helps to promote a sense of mutual understanding and cooperation.

Practical Examples:

  • • Listening to each other's opinions and ideas
  • • Treating each other with kindness and consideration
  • • Working together towards common goals

Tolerance of Emotions

#9

Accepting and acknowledging each other's feelings, even when they are difficult or uncomfortable.

Practical Examples:

  • • Listening without judgment
  • • Validating each other's feelings
  • • Creating a safe environment for emotional expression

Community Connections

#10

Participating in and contributing to the wider community. Community connections help to promote a sense of social responsibility and engagement.

Practical Examples:

  • • Participating in volunteer activities
  • • Supporting local businesses
  • • Engaging with neighbors and other members of the community

Questioning Authority

#11

Challenging traditional power structures and critically examining societal norms and expectations.

Practical Examples:

  • • Encouraging open and honest discussion about politics, social justice, and cultural norms
  • • Developing independent thinking and critical analysis
  • • Challenging assumptions and stereotypes

Forgiveness

#12

Letting go of resentment and anger towards others who have wronged us. In a family, forgiveness helps to promote healing and reconciliation.

Practical Examples:

  • • Expressing remorse for mistakes
  • • Listening to each other's perspectives
  • • Making a commitment to move forward in a positive and constructive way

Non-Dualism

#13

The belief that everything is interconnected and that there are no separate, independent entities in the world.

Practical Examples:

  • • Seeing the world in terms of interconnected systems and relationships
  • • Understanding that actions and decisions have an impact on others
  • • Working together towards common goals

⚠️ Important Safety Context

These values apply to healthy family relationships, not abusive situations.

Values like "Unconditional Love" and "Forgiveness" are meant for normal family conflicts and challenges, not for tolerating abuse, manipulation, or dangerous behavior. If you or your child are experiencing harm, seeking safety is the most loving thing you can do.

How These Values Work Together

These 13 core values are not isolated principles. They form an integrated system where each value supports and reinforces the others. When practiced consistently, they create the foundation for healthy family dynamics and resilient children.

Importantly, "Respect," "Empathy," and "Consistent Boundaries" work together to ensure that unconditional love doesn't enable harmful behavior. True unconditional love always includes respect for safety and dignity.